Neil Corbett

Rehearse It Once More

There is a beginning. This is the beginning. I am going to begin. I only have to take the first step. The first step is the deepest. I just have to rip the bandstand up by the roots. The path is only a path. At the end, a grand reward. A pot of charms left by a kelpie. If I open this door there will be no turning forward. I am the only thing standing in the way of stepping through the door. I’ve memorized my lines, the scene is setting. The moon rises. The moon rose. Rows its boat. Rehearse it once more: I’d like to buy a pack of cigarettes. Which ones. American Spirits. The ones in the light blue box. The ones in the window. The ones with a waggly tail. Second row from bottom, straight on till morning. And then pay the man again, Sam. This is how it plays out. This is the beginning, middle, hit send. Out of the car. Close the door. Open the door. Back into the car. That was a good trial run. Run it through again, Sam. Back to the start. Be kind, unwind. I’d like to buy. A lovely bunch of coconuts. The light blue ones. Say it, don’t spray it again, Sam. Slam the cash on the counter. Keep changing. Take the money and grunt.

Breathe deep. One, two, three.

This is the beginning. Open the car door. Come out singing. In the rain. It’s not raining. Strange. All strangers all the time. People are strange. I am the stranger. Stranger than friction. Sometimes you want to go where no one knows your name. And they’re always glad you left. Out of the car. Step one, two, three. No one can trace your steps or your chalk outline. Blue cigarettes. Blue Christmas. I forgot to close the car door. Cellar door. Sell her doors. By the sea shore. Euphony. You phony. Hold on, Crawlfield. OK. Back to the other door. Back on the path. Stay on the path. The yellow brick road. Hi Ho. The road most traveled. The light blue cigarettes. Push to hope in. Abandon your coat, all who enter here. That’s fine. It’s not raining anyway.

—

Neil Corbett was born and raised and still lives in Fort Worth, Texas, where he teaches English, journalism, and creative writing at a public high school. He earned his MFA in creative writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts in January 2023.